December 20th will forever mark the saddest day in CSO History – When Canadian Surrogacy lost their Matriarch, Our CSOFamily lost our MamaBear and I lost my Mom.💔🐻💐
How can 3 years feel so long but also feel just like yesterday?! I can still remember the smell of the hospital, the constant check-ins from our supporters as the minutes kept ticking by, the one song on the radio that felt like the station played it 1000 times that day. Lost in a memory of those final hours and minutes that just feel surreal now. But then in an instant, I am brought back to reality.
Brought back to the world having stopped by a pandemic, going through a roller-coaster of a journey learning and growing within the CSOFamily and ensuring my Mom’s legacy lives on each day.
What can be said that hasn’t been said already?! The powerful messages, the dedications from others, the beautiful support our family has received has left us speechless at times over these past 3 years. Those that choose to use your name, your legacy, to try to do what you paved the path for.
There will never be a year that words escape me with the loss of you.
I know you’ve missed a lot being gone but there truly is not a day that goes by that I don’t feel your presence near us. Every single one of us have and will continue to work in your name, doing what we do best: Building Families.
You didn’t just crack the door open for the opportunities of Canadians to build their families through Third Party Reproduction – you pushed that door wide open, laid a gravel road and paved it!! This road is now available for every person, couple, agency, consultant, coordinator… the list goes on and on. You helped build so many families. You helped create parents who have welcomed their precious miracles. You created grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, big brothers and big sisters.
Not only did you help the families within CSO and Little Miracles, but you also helped the families of many clinics in Canada and all agencies in Canada.
You are a Legacy. Your name will forever be the one that started #CanadianSurrogacyOptions, #LittleMiracles and #Surrogacy in Canada
Canadian Surrogacy Options will forever be the first Surrogacy Consulting Agency in Canada. Little Miracles will forever be the first Egg Donation Agency in Canada. Together, because of you and your dream, our CSOFamily will forever be the longest running agency in Canada. Our #DreamTeam continues to help and support every single client that comes our way – all as you would do. They all make them feel ‘at home’ and welcome each new client with open arms – just as you used to do.
I wanted to take an excerpt from what I had written for you shortly after we lost you:
“Together, my mom and I, we became a powerhouse. We built Little Miracles together. We expanded CSO in ways that had never been seen.
We decided together that we were going to do what we could to expand the third-party reproductive system in Canada. And we did it. I was her advisor, and she was mine.
Together we made decisions as to how to best move forward. Nothing was done without the others “ok”, and this carried over into so many life decisions between us two. Should I buy a new house? Should we book a trip? Should I trade in my car? All questions we ran by each other before usually even talking to our husbands haha
We became each other’s sounding board. We became each other’s confidant. We became best friends.”
Reflecting back over the past 3 years, griefs hardest lesson is trying to learn to live this thing called life without you. So many times, I’ve caught myself going to text you, to call you… to ask your advice, to get your opinion on a next step, to help me pick a paint colour for the new office (lol). But mostly, it’s just been to hear your voice one more time. I miss my ‘Business Partner’, I miss my Sounding Board, I miss My Best Friend, … I miss My Mom.
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest.. Grief is just love with no place to go” – Jamie Anderson.
Love you MoreXInfinity+One