If you are reading this, you may have been told you cannot carry a pregnancy, or you may have tried for a long time and are ready for another path. Either way, the question "where do I find a surrogate?" can feel enormous, and the internet does not always make it easier.
I grew up in this field, and I have watched families find their surrogates in every possible way. Here is what really works in Canada, and what to be careful about.
First, what the law says
In Canada, surrogacy is altruistic. You cannot pay a surrogate a fee. You can reimburse her documented, pregnancy-related expenses. The Assisted Human Reproduction Act also prohibits advertising that offers or asks for payment for surrogacy. That matters for how you search, because a post that says "will pay $X to a surrogate" is a legal problem.
Your four options
1. Someone you know
A sister, a close friend, a colleague. Many beautiful journeys begin this way. It can also be emotionally complicated, because the relationship has to survive the pregnancy.
What to do: she still needs medical and psychological screening, and you each need your own lawyer. Do not skip this because you trust each other. The paperwork is what protects the friendship.
2. A surrogacy agency
An agency recruits and screens surrogates, introduces you to ones who may fit your family, and manages the process. This is the most common route for families who do not already have a surrogate.
What to look for: a clear fee structure, a published refund policy, and honest timelines. See our list of 15 questions to ask before you sign.
3. Online groups and communities
Facebook groups and forums can be a place to meet women who are interested in surrogacy. They can also be risky.
What to watch for:
- Anyone asking for money upfront
- Pressure to move quickly
- Reluctance to be screened or to have a lawyer
- Offers to carry for a fee, which is not legal in Canada
If you meet someone this way and it feels right, put her through full screening just as you would anyone else.
4. A consultant or independent coordinator
Some people help families run an independent journey. Our Independent Journey program is built for this, with a checklist, referrals, templates and calls as needed. We compare independent and agency paths in a separate guide.
What a good match looks like
Skills and health matter, but so does the relationship. The strongest matches share:
- Communication style. How often do you want to talk during the pregnancy?
- Medical decisions. Views on prenatal testing, and what would happen in a difficult situation.
- Involvement. Who attends appointments and who is in the delivery room.
- Values. Parenting, family, openness about how your child came to be.
Introductions should be mutual. Either side can say it is not the right fit.
What a surrogate has to go through before she can carry
- Medical screening at a fertility clinic, including a review of her pregnancy history
- A psychological evaluation with a counsellor experienced in third-party reproduction
- Independent legal advice, separate from yours
- Background checks and home assessment, depending on the program
How long does it take?
Matching in Canada commonly takes 3 to 12 months, and sometimes longer. A full journey from first call to bringing a baby home typically runs about two to two and a half years. The things that speed it up are being prepared (embryos ready, documents in order), being flexible on location, and working with a program built for faster matching.
What it costs to find a surrogate
Finding her is only part of the total. The complete journey in Canada typically runs $80,000 to $120,000 CAD, covering the agency, surrogate reimbursements, legal, clinic and insurance costs. At CSO, agency programs start from $1,500 (Independent Journey), $9,500 (Foundation), $19,500 (Guided Journey) and $29,500 (Priority Match), plus HST, and the fee is paid in three equal stages.
If you need a donor as well
Many families need an egg donor as well as a surrogate. We run both Canadian Surrogacy Options and Little Miracles, so we can plan the two together.
Where to start today
- Decide whether you have a known surrogate or need help finding one
- Book a consult with a fertility clinic to confirm your embryos and plan
- Talk to us about which path fits
You do not have to have the answers before you call. That is what the call is for.
Related reading: How to Find the Right Surrogate
Want a number for your own family? Try our surrogacy cost calculator for an honest estimate in a couple of minutes.
Book a free consultation at calendly.com/cso-robyn
From hope to heartbeat to home.