I have been around surrogacy since I was 4 years old, and I have heard just about every myth there is. Some come from movies, some from the news and some from well-meaning relatives. Here are the ones I hear most.
Myth 1: Surrogates do it for the money
Truth: In Canada, surrogates cannot be paid a fee. They are reimbursed for documented, pregnancy-related expenses. The women I have worked with do this because they want to help a family.
Myth 2: The surrogate can just keep the baby
Truth: In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate has no genetic link to the baby, and the agreement and provincial parentage process are built so the intended parents become the legal parents. It is rare for a surrogate to change her mind, and careful screening and counselling make it less likely. I will never say it is impossible, but it is very unusual.
Myth 3: Surrogacy is illegal in Canada
Truth: It is legal, but altruistic only. Paying a surrogate a fee is what is prohibited.
Myth 4: The surrogate is the baby's biological mother
Truth: In gestational surrogacy, which is the standard in Canada, the baby is created with the intended parents' or donors' eggs and sperm. The surrogate carries the baby but does not contribute genetically.
Myth 5: Only wealthy couples do surrogacy
Truth: It is a significant investment, and I will not pretend otherwise. But many of the families I have worked with are teachers, nurses, tradespeople and small business owners who planned carefully. Our programs start from $1,500 and payments are staged so you are not paying for everything upfront.
Myth 6: Only straight couples can do it
Truth: There are no legal restrictions in Canada based on marital status or sexual orientation. Single parents, same-sex couples and couples can all pursue surrogacy.
Myth 7: It is a quick fix
Truth: A full journey typically takes about two to two and a half years, and can take longer. Matching alone can take anywhere from 3 to 12 months.
Myth 8: Surrogates are risking nothing
Truth: Pregnancy always carries medical risk. Surrogates are screened carefully and supported with medical care and insurance, but it is a real commitment.
Myth 9: Once you are matched, it is guaranteed
Truth: Transfers do not always work, and some pregnancies are lost. It is heartbreaking, and a good agency will support you through it. To grieve is to know love.
Myth 10: You can do it with no lawyer
Truth: Intended parents and the surrogate each need their own lawyer, and the agreement must be signed before medical procedures begin.
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